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Raising Daughters

Since Lucy was born, I have been trying to discover what my role as a Father is in raising a daughter in the world today to be the best version of whomever she wants to become.

As the husband to an amazing woman and as a feminist, I thought I had some perspective on where to start — I want to encourage Lucy to be strong, curious, and empowered girl who believes that she already is more than enough. Some inspiration for me comes from this awesome dad, and more inspiration from all the amazing women out there trailblazing and making the world a better place for Lucy to grow up.

I also am starting to be even more conscious of all the messages that our culture sends girls. This past week, I got the latest Surfer magazine titled Surfing, through Her. A full issue dedicated to woman that charge [if need some translation for “charge” here is a surf dictionary]. Lucy has been waking up at 6am lately, and I have been reading her books when she gets up…so figured — maybe I could read her the new Surfer? At the very least, I figured she would be very entertained by all the colorful photos! Let’s do this!

  • Spread 1 – Oneill Ad of Jordy Smith (male surfer) doing a huge cutback
  • Spread 2 – Billabong Ad of Shaun Manners and Creed McTaggart sharing a wave
  • Spread 3 – Rip Curl Ad of Bethany Hamilton deep in the tube
  • Spread 4 – Vans Ad of Wade Goodall walking with his board
  • Spread 5 – Editor’s note: “In surfing, we’ve historically judged the aquatic talents of a woman in terms of how they measure up to a man’s.”

Maker:0x4c,Date:2018-1-31,Ver:4,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar01,E-Y

Two pages later, an ad for surfing in Puerto Rico titled, “Beautiful as ever”. Compared to any woman reading the magazine, I have zero right to be incensed by the first few pages, but I was. Lucy is still happy as a clam sitting on my lap as I quickly flip to more colorful pages and all I can think about is how in a magazine featuring awesome female surfers 3 of the 4 first advertisements are featuring guys (props to Rip Curl for paying attention in their ad placement!), then a reflection that the measuring stick for all female surfers is how well they surf in comparison to men fast followed by a surf ad featuring not an amazing female surfer in Puerto Rico but a model with a seashell tattoo.

The first interview with Layne Beachley, a 7 TIME WORLD CHAMPION, summed up this problem precisely “Most of the time, guys are celebrated for their ability and it doesn’t matter how they look while they’re doing it. They don’t have to have the perfect ass and the perfect abs and the hottest body and the prettiest face to be seen as deserving a good sponsorship.” Layne is talking about the problem that (a) female surfers get less sponsors [see above] and (b) they only get sponsored if they are hot.

I find myself back at my initial question. As a Father raising a daughter in today’s world, how do I best support/empower/encourage her as she continues to grow? What did your fathers do OR what do you wish they had? (seriously, please send me what you think!)

Ending with my favorite Layne quote from the same interview, “When you know who you are, external pressures, judgements and projected opinions don’t seem to matter as much.” In the words of a badass female charger (and Taylor Swift), when you know who you are…haters gonna hate.